Faith and Prayer

So as you know, I have been working in a challenge from my bishop to increase my faith. It may have possibly worked.  Here are my notes, you decide :-)

I also took done notes on prayer. Prayer is the one way we can talk to our heavenly father.  He is always listening to our righteous prayers. He loves us and he wants us to have faith and trust in him.

I believe it is high time to be willing to do so.

No ifs, ands, or buts.

The bishop and I met again this week to discuss my first challenge and we talked about the faith of Nephi from the very start. He was never unwavering in his faith. As I have studied, I have learned how it was possible for him to have such an unwavering faith. It is simple. I know you are surprised, right??

The honest trick to being able to do this is to simply keep the commandments, read your scriptures daily, pray to the lord for good and righteous purposes. These things will help you to gain a testimony and help you have faith. Even in the hard times when it seems that trials are never ending.

I can honestly say that I'm almost walking on water. I gave a ton more studying to do, and I'm trying really hard to put my feet on top Ty of the water and trust that I can stay there, even when the wind and storm of uncertainty is upon me.

P.s. I have learned something vet important. I said this to my bishop "I would one day love to gave the faith of Nephi" he stopped me and said "me too" and then I kept going. I said "but..." He stopped me again. He then said, "but you are not willing to do what it takes to get it."
At first I was taken back to the comment, but he is right!! I am going to be very careful to not let my pride get in the way. I am willing to do what it takes to gain the faith and trust as Nephi of old.

I'm ready!

Have a great day!

You decide

So today I'm doing okay. I finished my challenge on Wednesday, which means I finished the book of Mormon in one week. Crazy!!

I will talk to my bishop again on Sunday and I'm not sure why, but I have had the feeling that I need to talk to him about prayer this week. I was going to wait to talk to him, but with the pressing from the spirit to talk to him about it,i decided I better make an appointment. I just hope that he knows why I'm talking to him about prayer!!

Maybe this is a test of my trust, maybe I need to know more about prayer, I don't know, but we shall see!!

Head above water

Earlier this week, I started a blog post titled "Drowning". I related a visit with my bishop and how frustrated with my life I was. Today, I erased that post to start a new one. This one has a much better title to it.

Alright, so it still isn't walking on water, but at least I'm holding my head up and to be honest, I'm almost swimming.

Times have been hard on us the last 11.5 years. We have experienced so many things in life that were hard. We have struggled financially since we have been married and have not ever really felt stable in that area.

This summer an opportunity came up for us to move and not only get a better paying job, but get closer to our family.

We prayed about it for a day and knew it was the right thing to do, so we packed up our things and headed down south.

In my mind, I was sure that things would get easier. I didn't think it would happen over night, but I had hoped we could at least pay our bills, even if we didn't have anything left over. It has not been that way at all. Things have been tough and they don't seem like they are getting any better.

I know in my heart that we were supposed to move here, the reason may have nothing to do with financial freedom, but I've become well aware of my lack of trust.

There have been so many things going on that have made it nearly impossible to see the good from the move. Our financial trouble still exists, it was definitely not what I expected it to be. We have had to get or own insurance, which with it comes a new deductible and it is frustrating. My daughters medication no longer cost us 60 dollars but 541. So many frustrations and yet, so many things I cannot control.

I have had many breakdowns and many visits with our bishop. This last week was tough. I went into the bishop for a temple recommend interview and the challenges of tithing had caught up to us and we fell and didn't pay it a couple of Weeks because we made some bad decisions financially. We were able to fix that situation, but the fact remained that my trust in the Lord was just not where it needed to be.

I broke down in his office and told him how I felt about everything. Now don't get me wrong, I go to church every week and I fulfill my calling. I pray and read my scriptures. I know that Heavenly father and Jesus are there. My fault lies in my trust that good things will happen. I trust he is there and does great things for others, but I cannot see it for myself. I feel like I will be in this bitter situation for the rest of my life. I hate it.

I left his office with a challenge to read the book of Mormon and underline every place that the Lord strengthened his people. I began on Wednesday. I am in Alma chapter 51. I have spent a lot of time pondering and reading these stories. The people had so much faith. I hope to one day be able to have even a small amount of that faith as to believe that it is going to  get better.

The challenge will end soon and I will have to return to the bishop to discuss. I am a little nervous to talk to him again, but I know this is what I need to do right now.

So yes, I was drowning, but I feel like I am learning and am at least able to hold my head above the water.

Hope to be swimming soon.