I'm Healing

Today I was able to watch my friends baby. She is a wonderful friend and I am glad she trusts me to watch her kids. Anyway, not the point, the point is that as I was holding him, I didn't think about the fact that I could not have any more kids, I truly enjoyed the time with the baby. I only thought of it when my neighbor asked me if I ever felt sad and heartbroken when I have to let the baby go back to his mom, and for the first time since I lost my baby, I can say No.

I don't. I don't feel sad anymore, I don't feel angry. Sure I miss my baby. I do. I have moments when I really would LOVE to hold MY baby, but I know that one day I will be able to do that. For now, I need to be here.

What is my purpose here? Well one day maybe I will find out. Right now, it is to take care of my three precious angels. To make sure they learn and grow. To love my husband and spend my life with him. How lucky am I that I have that opportunity?! I truly am! I was given a second chance at life and I am learning to live it with faith and to move on.

I hope I am doing a good job. Hey, you might even say I am Walking on Water right now!